Free shipping over $99 Australia-wide. The goose insists. Designed in the Hunter Valley. Easy returns. Unlike your coworkers.

Fowlmouth goose head logo
FOWLMOUTH
Back of an Ivory tee with a navy Employee Of The Month (never) print of a deadpan goose in a tie inside an ornate frame
Woman standing at the office printer, shown from behind wearing the Employee Of The Month (never) back-print tee

Employee Of The Month (Never) Tee

$40

A framed portrait of the goose who never got the plaque.

Size guide →

  • Free shipping over $99 Australia-wide. The goose insists.
  • 30-day returns. Unlike your coworkers.
  • Printed & embroidered in our Rutherford workshop.

Years of service. Zero recognition. A deadpan goose in a crooked tie and name badge stares out of an ornate gilt-style portrait frame, with EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH arched above in collegiate lettering and a small “(never)” on the plaque below. A big back print for anyone who has been quietly holding the whole office together.

The details

  • Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight tee in 100% ring-spun cotton
  • Garment-dyed for that soft, broken-in, been-yours-for-years feel
  • Large back print with a soft, slightly faded finish
  • Printed in our Rutherford workshop in the Hunter Valley
  • Relaxed unisex fit in S to XL. Check the size guide if you’re between sizes.

Care

Wash cold and inside out, and hang it to dry if you can. Garment-dyed colour softens a little with every wash. That’s the charm, not a fault.

Relaxed unisex fit, true to size S–XL. Between sizes? Size up for relaxed, down for closer.

Open the size guide →

Free shipping on orders over $99 Australia-wide, and we ship worldwide. 30 days from delivery to change your mind. Unlike your coworkers, we won’t make it weird. Read the returns policy →

Wash cold, inside out. Like your feelings. Hang to dry, and never iron directly on the print or embroidery.

Behind the design

Not print-on-whatever.

Every Fowlmouth design starts in the Hunter Valley, then gets printed or embroidered by hand in our Rutherford workshop, so it outlives the next restructure. No stock photos of feelings. Just the feelings.

— The goose

Same collection

Complete the mood.

Fowlmouth Corporate Goose sticker pack: three die-cut vinyl stickers, including the goose logo, laid out on sand

Corporate Goose Sticker Pack (3)

  • Stickers, Corporate Goose

$14
Social Battery 2% tee in ivory from Fowlmouth's Anti-Social Society collection, laid flat on sand

Social Battery 2% Tee

  • Tshirts, Anti-Social Society

$40
Corporate By Day, Goose By Choice tee from Fowlmouth's Corporate Goose collection, laid flat

Corporate By Day, Goose By Choice Tee

  • Tshirts, Corporate Goose

$40
Back of a Pepper tee with a chartreuse Feral As Fuck varsity print and a honking goose, Feral Goose Club underneath

Feral As Fuck Tee

  • Tshirts, Feral Goose Club

$40

Explore the whole collection.

Size guide

Will it fit? Probably.

Relaxed unisex fit, true to size S–XL. Between sizes? Size up for a relaxed fit, down for a closer one.

Measured flat: chest is armpit to armpit across the front, length is shoulder to hem. Allow about 2 cm either way.

Tees · Comfort Colors 1717 heavyweight

SizeSMLXL
Chest width (cm)46515661
Body length (cm)68717578

Hoodies · Champion Powerblend

SizeSMLXL
Chest width (cm)51566166
Body length (cm)70727577

Still unsure? Ask us. A human answers, not the goose.